The Art of Modern Self Portraits

Taking self-portraits the lazy way with a digital SLR - what the hell am I thinking?  It must be the product of 4 hours of sleep last night, 5 the night before, and virtually none the night before that. My Nikon D60 rocks. With it’s 10.2 megapixel resolution, you can very clearly see just how crappy I look! I’m like a basset hound in a 4x gravity simulator. The bags under my eyes are brought out in the very best sharp relief and shooting in NEF-RAW format brilliantly emphasizes how bloodshot my eyes really are! Thank you Nikon USA! Your line of products offers the very best capabilities in self incrimination! This is like looking at W. C. Fields’ nose up close and in High Definition!

The lazy way - No Tripod.  No Timer.  I’m doing this like my daughter taught me.  Hold the camera up and away from you at arm’s length, purse you lips together to look as sexy as you possibly can, drape all your hair down one side of your face so only one eye is visible, preferrably the one with the makeup, and press the shutter release.  Nothing is so simple with a digital SLR that employs advanced state-of-the-art TTL metering and Nikon’s patented 3D Color Matrix Metering II system! I’m not complaining though, because the results are stunning! Nose hairs gone awry stand out with pride! First off, there’s no ‘one handing’ this baby. Number one, the TTL means you have to either cover the viewfinder with your finger or use a hood to get the camera to take a picture. One hand down. The other hand then is accorded the responsiblity of depressing that cool little silver shutter release. Number two, you don’t want to drop the D60 because you’re being foolish. On the positive side, being in front of the camera for a change allows me to see that sweet little Auto Focus in action! It rotates smoothly and silently to ensure the perfect capture of my imperfections, and the Vibration Reduction compensates for the delerium tremens that must surely be occuring from a steady diet of M&Ms and Glen Livet! This camera is awesome. So, having employed the required operational saftey methods, the results are here. I think my daughter would be proud.

This entry was posted on 31. July 2008 at 04:26 and is filed under Lateral Shifts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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