Chicken Tortilla Soup

1. January 2010 by John Arnold.

This is a great recipe for Chicken Tortilla Soup.  It’s fun to make and easy to eat.  Just follow the directions below.

Ingredients:

• Beer or wine of your choice.  Quality is essential 
• 3 - 4 skinless boneless chicken breasts
• 4 chicken leg quarters
• 1 medium white onion - chopped
• 6 large cloves garlic - minced
• 4 - 6 medium to large jalapenos - chopped
• salted sweet butter (Falfurias is good)
• Fresh Cilantro
• Salt
• Pepper
• 2 tbsp flour

Season the chicken with salt, pepper and chopped fresh cilantro and bake at 325 in the oven.

Saute garlic, onions and jalapenos in 2 or 3 tbsps of sweet salted butter on medium heat for about 10 minutes in a large stock pot.  Turn the heat down to medium low and add 2 tbsps of flour.  Cook this for about another beer’s worth of minutes, or a glass of wine if you happen to be drinking that instead.  Stir occasionally and pretend you’re Julia Childs but don’t throw it on the floor.  If you happen to play guitar, this would be a good opportunity to go lay down some sick leads but make sure you come back before the flour scorches.  Two songs on low to medium heat is cool.  When you get back, stick your face right into the top of the pot and take a huge whiff… Fuckin’ A.

Now add:

• 3 14 oz. cans of chicken broth
• 1 quart of Half n Half
• 1 10 3/4 oz can of condensed chicken soup (Try to avoid that ‘fat free’ healthy crap, but if your local grocery store manager has taken it upon him/herself to save us all from cholesterol, whaddya gonna do?

Turn the heat up and bring this to a boil. Then reduce the heat. Up with the heat. Down with the heat. WTF?  Don’t worry - it’s an infusion kind of thing.  While this is heating up, check your chicken.  Check it, don’t choke it. If it’s ready, remove the skin and bones from the leg quarters and divide into nice succulent ‘chunks’ - or whatever, just don’t shred it. Set aside in a bowl.  Speaking of, if your tendencies lie there, this would be a good time for one.  Toke away my friend.

Add the following to the stock pot:

• 1 entire jar of salsa - Get the good shit.  Don’t waste your time or money with Pace’s Picante or some such other crap salsa. Go for roasted peppers, etc., you get the idea. I know you can get shit salsa for like $2.19 a jar, but hey, go $5 - This makes or breaks this soup.
• 1 can of Rotel diced tomatoes and chiles - Medium or Hot.  Hot is good.  So are hot women. Do <ul>not</ul> waste your time with mild.  Hell, if you want mild, just use fucking tomatoes.
• 2 cans Creamed Corn - Don’t ask me who creamed it.  Have a wet clean rag handy in the event the soup splashes up into your face and hair while adding the corn.
• 1 Package McCormick Fajita Seasoning. Yeah, I know. Shut up.
• 3 tsps Ground Cumin (Isn’t that 1 tbsp?  Help me ITT!) - Just dump some in. Who needs spoons anyway?
• Chopped fresh cilantro - when you start smiling at the smell, you’ve done enough.  Does anything smell better??

Mix all of this in the stock pot and turn your heat down to medium low, cover and let that shit stoke for at least 30 minutes!  While this is stoking, grab that chicken that’s been setting aside and prepare it for the soup.  After 30 minutes, add the chicken and continue to simmer for another 15 minutes, or until you’re so hungry you can’t stand it anymore - whichever is longer.

Serve:

Arrange a layer of tortilla chips in the bottom of a bowl and cover liberally with shredded 4-cheese mix, or a cheese of your choice.  Cheddar and Monterey Jack are good but I wouldn’t recommend cheddar alone.  Monterey Jack is better alone if you don’t like to mix things up.  Spoon the soup over the tortillas and cheese and add more shredded cheese on top.  Add a dollop of sour cream, one of salsa and one of guacamole if you care for it. Garnish with fresh chopped cilantro and tortilla chips and serve.

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